My GP Dismissed My Endometriosis Pain Because I Don’t Want A Baby Yet

"I remember blowing up in the office of a gynecologist – telling him to conduct a hysterectomy.

I never needed children, I told him: never did, never would. I never would.

Why did he not listen? Why did he not listen?

It was unlikely, but seven years had not been successfully treated to get the intense suffering, vomiting and lack of consciousness suffered by Izzy – then 17 – because of endometriosis.

She questioned her only choice: a total hysterectomy. She asked.

But that's out of doubt her physician said.

"I was too young to determine what was best with my body and what influenced my feelings."

"He mocked me further and implied that the prospective husband would like me to have a child and that a hysterectomy would remove it," she says.

The same statement was said to her as she approached a private physician to consult her.

"I was grateful that my relatives will help me afford a private gynecologist appointment," she says.

"Though I was legal, once again I was advised that I was already too young to know what was best for my body ... each psychiatrist with whom I consulted through the years rendered my fertility a concern over my physical and mental wellbeing."

Izzy, now 22, says Refinery29, that her disease has a major effect on her schooling and work and her social nature. "Endometerosis greatly influenced my quality of life.

She couldn't go to work and because of consistent discomfort her grades had slipped and her emotional stability had become tight.

In view of all, she explains the "reduced sensation" – as though everything that counts is her desire to have children.

Every care doctor with whom I consulted over the years has prioritized my fertility over physical and mental wellbeing, and I'm always too inexperienced to do the best thing to do.

Elizabeth, 22

Endometriosis patients struggle from mental health issues, one in five of which are afflicted with depression and about one-third are nervous.

Despite this prevalence, existing statistics indicate that the treatment of gynaecologic patients' mental wellbeing is low, primarily attributable to the fact that doctors do not know how to administer those talks.

A 2014 research – among the few that investigated the intersection of gynaecological and psychiatric disorders – reported that patients with some of the more common gynecological conditions such as polycystic ovary syndrome, premenstrual syndrome and chronic pelvic pain are likely to have a direct mental disorder.

The same studies finds that gynecologists are unwilling or incompetent to raise questions about these topics, so crucial debates over well-being and the management of conditions of mental health go unanswered.

Refinery, Faye Farthing, Endometriosis UK contact manager said nobody can ignore or believe the pain is invalid because their procedures could impair their fertility. Their care will be a danger to anyone suffering from endometriosis.

"Women with endometriosis should not feel like they must compete for care and help, while fertility isn't a problem or a question of priority," she says.

"Women automatically desire children because there is a social tabao, always expectation.

In certain societies and families, this tabou may be much more common, which renders life more complicated and challenging with menstrual disorders such as endometriosis, even whether people determine that they don't have any children."

A latest APPG study revealed that Izzy is not isolated in the feeling that his care staff is let down. A coalition of both parties has been reporting on endometriosis.

46% of the 10 000 patients accessing the survey find their GP(s), in favor of gynaecological health issues, unhelpful or unhelpful, and 32% found their gynecologist(s) to be unhelpful or rather unhelpful.

At 18, Rachel had a serious endometriosis that had an impact on any part of her everyday life and was in the same condition as Izzy.

In the outset, the discomfort was handled with anti-inflammatory medications, although it worsened with time.

Rachel states, "Suicidal and no means out out of it when they had not been handled [so] called for hysterectomy, was the product of this suffering and lack of care.'"

The physician declined because it implied that Rachel did not have biological children.

So the biological kids don't like them.

Still because their physicians had prioritized their abilities to procreate above their pains, they were denied a hysterectomy.

In order to extract endometer-like tissues which cause so much pain to the patients, Rachel obtained help from a private medical team who underwent surgery.

Not all of the cloth has been stripped, though because Rachel's fertility was retained too.

There is a social tabu, and also there are assumptions that women want children immediately.

Women who suffer endometriosis do not believe like they have to struggle to care and help, when pregnancy is not a goal or worry.

Endometriosis UK Faye Farthing

Rachel realized something was wrong right after the procedure.

They were calling for more inquiries.

It became obvious that the danger to their potential pregnancy and the risk of hypothetical fetuses was ovary cancer, neglected or baseless for months.

Rachel is now cancer-free and angry that sex roles affect too many women and might jeopardize your health.

"A individual with stereotypic female morphology needs girls," they said to Refinery29. "This is an immense imposition.

"It seems like the main intention is procreate while you're a cis female.

My only goal in my life is not to have kids, but I had to prioritize my wellbeing because it crushed my mental health.

"It's really frustrating to speak about a healthcare provider who violates your needs," they said.

"I thought like I couldn't make a decision for myself and they hope that I'll wake up one day and know that even though it never did," I really desired biological children.

NICE recommendations note that endometriosis patients are sometimes patients who desire the maintenance of their fertility, but who do not think for it in equal proportion.

Therefore fertility is necessary to determine how best to treat their illness between a patient and his medical team.

This choice is sometimes, though, torn out from patients' jaws. Physicians determine what is best for maintaining fertility as a goal.

Faye accepted. Faye agrees.

"It is vital that medical professionals freely address their condition and goals with patients and that those with endometriosis should not believe that their care is determined or hindered by a decision not to have children," she clarified.

Morgan decided to undergo a sterilization procedure for women at the age of 25.

She never desired children and attempted all sorts of contraceptives, which each defined as not fit" to the end of an IUD which was displaced.

She also has a variation of the BRCA gene, i.e. her breast cancer risk is high.

Nevertheless, Morgan claims her doctor did not consent for the operation to proceed forward.

"I was secure in my decision of remaining childless before these questions regarding wellbeing, but was nevertheless rejected," she says.

"As an adult, I think it is a fair request, irrespective of my motives.

They even questioned what would happen if I found a female who desired children who felt that my only importance in a potential partnership, was my willingness to breed. I felt that my psychiatrist limited me to my capacity to multiply with no concern for my own mental / physical wellbeing.

It has been dehumanizing."

Morgan's wife got a vasectomy in an effort to get to a place in which she did not get pregnant.

She says he was not questioned if he had a wife, whether he desired children, or whether if his partner decided to have children - now or in the future.

He only ordered and obtained the procedure.

Morgan says that while she's grateful to get the vasectomy, "the gender gap in medicine has finally been illustrated."

It is only one such manner in which women are refused the ability to chose their own baby, what where or how many children they will have not that women feel that they know better than them what is best for them.


In 2019 there were in England and Wales 640,370 live births, the lowest amount since 2004. The number of infants has fallen dramatically and there are more and more parents dropping out of their children.

Moreover a new poll undertaken of 2,000 cisgender women has shown that the social and economic consequences of the pandemic indicate that individuals do not have children regardless of their future ambitions.

But doctors might not be always respecting the judgment, judging by the stories of women I'd spoken to for this piece.

Refinery 29: "I am shocking to see so many physicians tend to actually fail to trust people, Dr. Amy Blackstone, Childfree's author by Preference and a social science professor at the University of Maine, Margareth Chase Smith Policy Center. Refinery29.

That is only one more way for women to be refused the freedom to chose for themselves how, where, and how many children they have," not to handle women because you presume that you know better than you know what is best for them.

Much goes through the option of getting a newborn – or not having one.

You have to agree